Aidan Key was born in Kalamazoo, Michigan in 1964 seven minutes before his identical twin sister, Brenda. Aidan, his sister, and their mother moved around often during his childhood, bouncing between Michigan, Southern California, Colorado, Hawaii, and Washington before landing in Juneau, Alaska in 1972. 

As a child, Aidan knew that his self-expression differed from his sister’s but struggled to understand why her behavior and presentation were deemed more socially acceptable. With no queer representation in his community and overt anti-LGBTQ+ rhetoric from the fundamentalist Christian church his family attended, Aidan had no way to articulate or name his experiences with gender and sexuality.

After high school, Aidan attended Seattle Pacific University, a small Christian college. When a few new friends came out to him as lesbians, he had a joyous lightbulb moment: this was him. However, the hostile climate at Seattle Pacific fostered paranoia and fear amongst his classmates, and he quickly turned to destructive behaviors to cope. Only halfway through his first year, he’d dropped out. 

After leaving university, Aidan stepped into a tight-knit butch/femme community, where he found support, acceptance, and mentorship. By his early thirties, he was co-parenting a young child with a former long-term partner. Then, through an episode of a talk show, Aidan was introduced to the concept of trans men. 

Aidan describes coming out as trans as a “big, dark nothingness.” In the early stages of his gender transition, he had few resources, support, or visible trans people to turn to for advice. Further, he and his ex-partner became involved in a lengthy custody battle (in which he finally prevailed), which kept him apart from his child for more than a year. Simultaneously, his lesbian community was pushing him away. 

However, Aidan fought to stay in the community he loved. He recognized the need for a space where people could ask questions, and put up flyers advertising an open, honest conversation about gender. He hosted another session, then another; soon, the event had evolved into a multitude of events that both challenged and reshaped his Seattle community to become more gender inclusive. 

In 2001, Aidan’s work expanded even further: he produced the first Gender Odyssey conference, which has now been running in Seattle for over 20 years. Over time, the conference has shifted and adapted dramatically—as life unfolds, Aidan says, “we discover, we learn, we incorporate.” In 2007, the conference grew to include the Gender Odyssey Family conference and the Gender Odyssey Professional conference both first-of-their-kind events in the nation. 

Aidan’s career includes significant advocacy work to support trans youth including his Tedx Talk, The Heart of the Matter. He launched a monthly support group at Seattle Children’s Hospital (SCH) for parents of trans youth which paved the way for the launch of SCH’s Adolescent Gender Clinic. Aidan has led hundreds of trainings nationwide for professionals in industries of healthcare, social services, law, and K-12 education through his organization, Gender Diversity. He is the founder of the national nonprofit, TransFamilies, an organization that offers support, guidance, and resources to families of trans and nonbinary children. In 2023, Aidan’s seminal book, Trans Children in Today’s Schools, was published by Oxford University Press. He worked with the WA State Interscholastic Activities Association to craft the nation’s first policy for K-12 trans student inclusion and is the author of the nation’s first Gender Diverse Youth Sport Inclusivity Toolkit.

Aidan’s wisdom, authenticity, and expertise resonate powerfully throughout his interview. Though his career has been dedicated to improving and empowering the lives of others, Aidan is careful to emphasize the importance of making space for self-care and introspection. His relationship with his gender is ever-changing; as he says in his interview, “gender is amazing and beautiful, and I love how it moves around in me.” 

Bio Author: Adelaide Barrett