A family portrait of the Crossens in Lexington, KY, 1962. L-R for the top row: Phil Crossen (father), Karen Crossen (sister), and Betty Churchill Crossen (mother). L-R for bottom row: Jennifer Crossen, Katie Crossen (sister), and Julie Crossen (sister).
Betsy Churchill Crossen, Karen Crossen, Katie Crossen, Julie Crossen, Jennifer Crossen, and Phil Crossen hiking at the Natural Bridge in Lexington, KY, 1962.
A family portrait of the Churchill Clan in Frankfurt, MI, ~1964-95. This photo features Jennifer’s grandparents, her grandmother’s sister and her son, her mother, and her mother’s sisters, their spouses, and their kids. Jennifer sits in the middle of the bottom row.
Jennifer and her sisters (Julie, Karen, and Katie Crossen) as children at the beach in Frankfurt, MI, 1966.
A childhood portrait of Jennifer and her sisters (Julie, Karen, and Katie Crossen) in Lexington, KY, 1967.
A childhood portrait of Jennifer and her sisters (Julie, Karen, and Katie Crossen) at the family’s baby grand piano in Lexington, KY, 1967.
Jennifer and her sisters (Karen, Katie, and Julie Crossen) with Betsy Churchill (their mother) in Churchill’s backyard, Lexington, KY, 1972. Though this was post-divorce of her parents, Jennifer fondly calls these her “big hair days.”
Jennifer holding her son David Crossen as a newborn, Lexington, KY, 1986.
Joan Callahan (Jennifer’s partner) with their son David Crossen, dressed up as a mouse for Halloween, Lexington, KY, 1988.
Jennifer Crossen and Joan Callahan (her partner), in Taos, NM, 1988.
Jennifer Crossen and Joan Callahan (her partner) cut into a cake to celebrate their commitment ceremony while their son David Crossen smiles at the camera, Lexington, KY, 1989. The ceremony was officiated at their house with a minister from the Unitarian Church.
Jennifer Crossen, Joan Callahan (her partner), and David Crossen (her son) at their commitment ceremony, which was officiated at their house in Lexington, KY, 1989. The minister was from the Unitarian Church.
Jennifer Crossen with her sisters (Julie, Karen, and Katie Crossen) and her mother Betsy Churchill in Lexington, KY, 1989.
Jennifer Crossen and David Crossen (her son) at their home in Lexington, KY, 1990.
A family portrait of Jennifer Crossen, Joan Callahan (her partner), and David Crossen (her son) in Lexington, KY, 1990.
Jeff May (Karen Crossen’s husband), Karen Crossen, Joan Callahan (Jennifer’s partner), David Crossen (Jennifer’s son), Jennifer Crossen, Julie Crossen, and Katie Crossen in Lexington, KY, 1996.
A family portrait of Jennifer Crossen, Joan Callahan (her partner), and David Crossen (her son) in Lexington, KY, 1996.
A church directory portrait of Jennifer Crossen, Joan Callahan (her partner), David Crossen (her son), and Betsy Churchill (her mother) in Lexington, KY, 2002.
Jennifer Crossen playing music with Katie Crossen (sister), David Crossen (son), and Lenny Dentinsass in Lexington, KY, 2003.
Jennifer Crossen and her sister Julie Crossen weathering their cancer journey together in Lexington, KY, spring 2011.
L-R: Julie Crossen (sister), Jeff May (brother-in-law), and Jennifer Crossen in Copper Mountain, CO, 2012.
After almost 25 years together, Jennifer Crossen and Joan Callahan married in Provincetown, MA, 2013.
Jennifer Crossen and Joan Callahan pose after their marriage ceremony with their son David Crossen in Provincetown, MA, 2013.
After almost 25 years together, Jennifer Crossen and Joan Callahan married in Provincetown, MA, 2013. They are pictured here with their friends Karen Hudson, Robin Maley, Joan Smart, Lisa Cook, and their son David Crossen.
Joan Callahan (Jennifer’s wife) legally adopts David Crossen as her son, Lexington, KY, February 2014. Pictured here are Joan Callahan, David Crossen, Jennifer Crossen, KAthy Stein, and Ross Ewing, the pro-bono lawyer who wanted to take their case to the Supreme Court.
Jennifer Crossen hiking at the “Triple Crown of Views”, Virginia, 2017.
Jennifer Crossen and her sister Julie Crossen hiking at the Meditation Hole at Red River Gorge, Slade, KY, 2018. Jennifer calls their gear “Dolly Parton” packs because they offer the weight of large breasts after the Crossen sisters both underwent mastectomies.
Jennifer Crossen hiking at the “Triple Crown of Views”, Virginia, 2018.
Jennifer Crossen and her wife Joan Callahan as wedding guests in Salt Lake City, UT, 2018.
Betsy Churchill (center) with David Crossen holding Sawyer Crossen and Jennifer Crossen holding Maddox Crossen in Lexington, KY, 2019.
Jennifer Crossen and her nephew Sawyer Crossen horseback riding in Lawrenceburg, KY (which is about 25 miles west of Lexington), 2019.
L-R: Ashley Crossen holding Maddox Crossen, Jennifer Crossen, and David Crossen (Jennifer’s son) holding Sawyer Crossen (her nephew) at Lexington Pride, Lexington, KY, 2019.
Jennifer Crossen was born in 1957 in Yokosuka, Japan, where her father was stationed as a doctor in the U.S. Navy. At three, Jennifer’s family moved to a farm outside Lexington, Kentucky. Although parents’ marriage ended when Jennifer was 13, she remembers her childhood as blissful, surrounded by cats, dogs, and horses.
Jennifer’s parents were progressives. Her father was an early advocate for women’s reproductive rights; her mother was active in the Civil Rights movement. They modeled involvement and engagement with the pressing issues of the day. Jennifer didn’t know that one day, she would channel their activist spirit on behalf of the LGBTQ community. At 23, she married the first man who asked her; they soon had a son named David. After seven years, the marriage fell apart. Soon after, Jennifer met Joan Callahan and, over time, they fell in love. With Jennifer’s ex-husband out of their lives, Joan effectively became David’s second parent.
In the late 1980s, there was no way for Jennifer and Joan’s relationship, or Joan’s relationship with David, to be recognized and protected under the law. In due time, that would change. Meanwhile, Jennifer and Joan engaged in ongoing battles to repel anti-LGBT bills in the Kentucky Legislature. Jennifer helped pass an anti-discrimination ordinance in Lexington / Fayette County. She served on the board of Lexington Fairness for more than 20 years. Today, the organization presents an award every year called the “Jennifer Crossen Out for Fairness” award. Jennifer and Joan were also on the forefront of efforts to get the University of Kentucky to add domestic partner benefits for same-sex couples. And for 17 years, Jennifer and Joan hosted Lexington’s Pride festival on their farm. Jennifer dutifully mowed all 50 acres of the farm to make space for the event, which “grew and grew” as word spread of a safe and celebratory place for the Lexington-area LGBTQ community to gather. Eventually the festival outgrew the farm and moved downtown.
In 2013, Jennifer and Joan got married in Provincetown, Massachusetts. As a wedding present, Joan told Jennifer that she would like to legally adopt David, who by now was 30 years old. Around the same time, a federal judge named John Heyburn ruled that even though marriage equality had not come to Kentucky, the state was legally obliged to recognize same-sex marriages performed in other states. This paved the way for Joan to be able to legally adopt David, after 25 years as his mother. The same week the adoption went through, David and his wife announced they were pregnant, making Jennifer and Joan both legal parents, and future grandparents to boot.
In June 2019, Joan lost a short battle with cancer. She was duly honored and celebrated a few weeks later at the 2019 Lexington Pride festival. Two state legislators sent proclamations. Joan’s memorial service filled the Lexington Unitarian Universalist church to standing room only.
Jennifer continues to live on the farm that she and Joan called home. “She is with me everywhere on the farm,” Jennifer writes. “I talk to her all the time. How can I not, after being together for 32 years?”