Jay Kyle Petersen was born on May 26, 1952 in Pipestone, Minnesota. He was a 46 XX SRY gene negative Male — he had a visible small phallus and male-appearing urogenital folds, as well as invisible testicular tissue, ovaries, and a small uterus. The rural doctor had likely never seen an intersex baby before and did not operate on his genitalia. The female box was checked on his birth certificate, he was named Judy, and his parents never talked to him about being intersex. The hospital later lost his birth records, leaving no historical record of important events which took place in the delivery room.

He grew up on a family-owned dairy farm near Pipestone, where his father worked outside in the fields while his mother both took care of the house and worked outside tending her chickens. Since age 4, Jay knew that he was a boy. He would pray, “Dear God, please finish making my body into a boy’s body.” At age 9 1/2, male puberty began. He grew blond hair over much of his body which soon turned dark and he was also medically diagnosed with severe acne. At age 11, female puberty set in, female breasts formed, and painful irregular menses began. He also realized he liked girls, creating emotional turmoil as a young intersex boy forced to present as a girl.

Jay’s sole source of comfort was his grandma, Alice Glendora Petersen. Grandma Petersen always called him Jude, the masculine version of Judy. Amidst the grievous abuse he received from other family members, her home was a refuge where he was loved as a boy.

Jay’s father introduced him to alcohol at age nine, beginning a childhood of alcoholism, nicotine addiction, and eating disorders. Jay eventually left the family farm to attend college, exhilarated to leave behind his girl clothes. He also began dating women, both lesbian and straight, who related to Jay’s gender on different levels.

On January 15, 1977, Jay was in his Minneapolis apartment when he was suddenly elevated off the floor. He felt a warm, invisible presence in the room. That afternoon, his desire to do drugs suddenly vanished. That same year, he enrolled in a chemical dependency treatment center, where his ally Grandma Petersen attended groups with him as his family when Jay’s parents refused. She drove alone in her little car named Brownie, four hours from their farm to the treatment center through winter weather conditions to be with Jay. Two years later, he visited a tiny church in Ault, Colorado when he felt his knees buckle inexplicably. Kneeling on the floor, he suddenly felt his obsession with drinking lifted from his shoulders. In his recovery, Jay picked up painting, which flourished into a lifelong passion.

After completing his chemical dependency treatment, Jay became a music teacher. He began dating Mary, who knew that Jay was a man and encouraged him to seek medical help. In 1981, he was misdiagnosed as a transsexual and over-prescribed testosterone, as Jay’s body was already naturally making male-level variable range androgens since puberty, and to the detriment of his health. Jay shared the diagnosis with his parents, shattering his relationship with most of his biological family.

In 2001, Jay finally learned the word intersex and that this was his correct diagnosis. Due to lack of training, his doctors did not know what to do, so they continued overprescribing testosterone. In 2012, he met genetics doctor Dr. Christina Laukaitis, who gave him a thorough hormone and genetics test and finally put him on the right treatment plan, dramatically improving his health. Dr. Laukaitis also provided the name for Jay’s rare intersex variation, XX Male Sry Gene Negative Male Intersex.

Later in life, Jay chose, as an adult, to have female breasts removed, hysterectomy, and vaginectomy, leaving intact all the male characteristics he was born with. He dogged a cancer bullet, as the attending surgeon told Jay he had the worst case of fibrocystic breast disease the surgeon had ever seen without it being cancerous, and in a subsequent surgery the ovaries were found to be full of striated follicular cysts. Jay continued to make male-level variable range androgens even afterward from testicular tissue.

Jay has since published his book, A Comprehensive Guide To Intersex, dedicated to Grandma Petersen. He hopes to educate doctors on how to treat intersex patients and to give laypeople the tools to understand intersex identities. Jay’s spiritual healing has allowed him to forgive people from his past, while actively creating a future where intersex people have options, dignity, and rights. During the interview, he fondly recalls holding an intersex 3 year old and showering them with the love, acceptance, and pride he didn’t receive as a child.

Bio Author: Helen Tian