Marsha Aizumi was born on May 28, 1947 in Cleveland, Ohio. Her parents were originally from Southern California, but were displaced to the midwest from the Japanese American concentration camps during WWII. Her family moved back to California when Marsha was 5. Growing up, her parents drilled in the importance of excelling in work and fitting in. Marsha studied teaching, and went on to work in education, HR, and her parents’ insurance agency.
Her family was always involved in local Japanese churches, a hub for the Japanese American community. Marsha met her husband of over 5 decades while they were young adults in church. They struggled to conceive, so Marsha persuaded her husband to adopt a baby, assigned female at birth (AFAB), from Japan. Her husband quickly grew to love fatherhood, and they adopted a younger baby son.
Marsha’s older child, Aiden, was a tomboy. He was athletic, charismatic, and popular in elementary school. Aiden would even come home telling Marsha about the girls he liked, which worried her, because Aiden was still identifying as female. As he got older, Aiden struggled to fit into the more rigid gender roles that came with middle school. Through his teenage years, especially after he came out as lesbian in high school, he was bullied relentlessly by his peers. His mental health plummeted: he struggled with panic attacks and agoraphobia, and had to finish the second half of his high school senior year remotely. Although Aiden was recruited across colleges for his golfing skills, he could not bring himself to leave home.
Marsha felt guilty for not being able to protect her child. Although she knew Aiden was suffering, he didn’t open up about what was happening, out of fear that Marsha would come to school to advocate for him. At the time, Marsha was working at a charter school that helped dropout recovery students, so Marsha knew the importance of feeling a sense of belonging at school. Luckily, Aiden started working part-time at the same charter school. After high school, he continued his work and started junior college, where he began a relationship with a young woman.
To better support Aiden, Marsha joined the local PFLAG chapter and started bringing Aiden to the meetings. Once Aiden’s relationship ended, he got more involved with PFLAG and there met his wife, Mary. Mary was completing a Master’s program, which inspired Aiden to continue his education. He went on to attend the University of Laverne and earn a Bachelor’s and Master’s there — Marsha recalls seeing him walk during graduation as one of her proudest moments. In college, Aiden started exploring his trans identity, and came out as a trans man. Although Marsha initially struggled with internalized feelings of shame for being a bad mother for having a trans son, she came to realize that the greatest honor she could bring to her family was to fully love Aiden for who he is.
Marsha worked with Aiden to write about their relationship in the book Two Spirits, One Heart. The book has gone on to touch countless families, leading inspired parents and children missing supportive parents to reach out to Marsha. Marsha and Aiden have given book talks across the country, a living example of unconditional familial love.
In addition, Marsha has spoken before the Arcadia city council in protest against an anti-LGBTQ+ group being invited for their community breakfast. She created an Asian American and POC focused PFLAG satellite group that grew into an independent PFLAG chapter, and she started the organization Okaeri, an organization hosting cultural and educational community building events for the queer Japanese American community.
Marsha remains busy with her advocacy — she’s getting ready to launch a queer anthology with Okaeri and is organizing an online trans symposium. She celebrates and loves Aiden for all he is, and she reminds us over and over about the importance of finding, building, and cherishing family.