Recalling the beginning of her relationship with Carol Conklin, Janet Peck says, “We made the decision as soon as we got together that we weren’t going to live in the closet.” Over their 50 years together, they have come out in many ways, bettering the world around them in the process.

Janet was born in Manchester, Connecticut in 1950. She grew up playing catch with her father, who accepted her “as somebody who wasn’t going to necessarily look and act like women are supposed to look and act.” Carol, born in Bridgeport, Connecticut in 1953, developed an affinity for fixing things with her father. This led to her ultimately becoming Connecticut’s first licensed female electrician. 

Although Janet originally met Carol in high school, Janet spent her teen years in a relationship with her female best friend. She attended Hartt School of Music and briefly married a man. Carol studied Marine Biology in Key West. When she couldn’t find a job in that field, she returned to Connecticut in 1975 and ran into Janet at a party: “As I sat down next to Carol, it’s as if everyone else in the room disappeared.” A few weeks later, they went on a beach trip and walked the beach holding hands. Janet recalls, “We didn’t have a care about anybody watching us. We were just loving each other.”

Janet’s family was supportive, but Carol’s father didn’t speak to them for a few years. He softened over time, which Carol partly attributes to the care they took of her mother when she was dying. He stayed with them after he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, and told Carol, “I can see that you have the same relationship that your mother and I had.”

Through the years, Carol and Janet supported each other through various career changes.  Janet got a degree in counseling and maintained a private practice as a Licensed Professional Counselor; she is particularly proud to have provided a safe place for LGBTQ+ people. Carol, meanwhile, went on to receive her master electrician license and maintained an electrical contracting business for 15 years, then became an electrician for the State of Connecticut.

Janet and Carol participated in numerous gay rights events, but their definitive contribution was in the struggle for marriage equality. It was an issue that hit home for them: When they applied for a home construction loan, they weren’t allowed to combine their incomes on the application. Later, after 20 years together, Carol wasn’t allowed to visit Janet in intensive care after a surgery because she wasn’t considered family. 

After marriage equality was passed in Massachusetts through a lawsuit, Janet and Carol became one of the plaintiff couples in a similar suit that was filed in Connecticut in August 2004. They were speakers in Love Makes A Family, working to pass same-sex marriage in Connecticut.  Their next four years involved traveling the state and telling their love story. On October 10, 2008, Connecticut Supreme Court granted same-sex couples the right to marry. Janet and Carol celebrated by getting married – after 33 years together – the following January. Janet continues to advocate for the LGBTQ+ community with Stonewall Speakers.

In 2016, Carol was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Today, she and Janet focus on living well with dementia and making their lives as full and joyful as possible. They live in the house that Carol built, and have joined LiveWell, a care facility that provides support groups for those living with dementia and their care partners. Carol has become more outgoing than she was before her diagnosis. Both have spoken publicly about their Alzheimer’s experience, an openness Janet likens to their lifelong political advocacy: “What do we do as lesbians? We’re out, we’re educating, we’re trying to reduce stigma. Well, it’s the same way with Alzheimer’s.” Carol and Janet are still coming out, and changing the world by doing so.

Bio Author: Mac Rogers