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Pam Alexander was born on August 11th, 1956 in Washington, DC. She was an only child, which made her feel lucky; since it was easy to transport one child, she was often taken to places only “onlies” got to go. Some of Pam’s most cherished childhood memories feature her beloved grandmother Ruth Alexander, a 4’11’’ “spitfire” who took her on road trips from DC to Paris, Missouri during the summers. Of her grandmother, Pam says, “We were always connected and still are.” Although Pam never came out to her, she says there was an understanding between them. Her grandmother always made it clear that she was loved no matter what.
Around age ten, Pam was introduced to Catholicism through her friends Teresa and Carmel. She later attended an all-girls Catholic high school, which she loved for its rituals and the opportunity it gave women to truly trust other women. She called the school “empowering”; even though she wasn’t aware of her sexuality at the time, she did everything she could to remain in that environment as much as possible.
About halfway through high school, Pam’s parents confronted her about her unhealthy relationships with women. They pointed out that she was making excuses to stay the night at school; Pam was “shocked and appalled” at their implications. A couple years later, Pam got a job at a shoe store, where she developed a crush on an employee and realized she was a lesbian. The coworker quickly became her first lover, and Pam moved in with her soon after graduating high school.
In the late 80s, Pam was working in IT, where she was often the only woman on staff. After realizing that Catholicism was no longer the right fit, Pam became more connected to other forms of spirituality. She soon became involved with women’s gatherings such as Camp Fest and the Womongathering. She also began a daily Wiccan practice and formed a coven with other women, with whom she would meet about once a month.
It was in the kitchen of Camp Fest that Pam met Beverly Little Thunder, the woman who would eventually become her wife. In 1987, Beverly had organized the first ever women’s Sundance in Arizona; at the end of Camp Fest, she invited Pam to the next one. When Pam got on the plane to attend, she cried—she says she knew her life was about to change forever.
At the end of Pam’s interview, her wife Beverly joins her to talk about their work, relationship, and life together. Their stories are full of insight, joy, and love. Today, the Sundance ceremony takes place in Vermont. It is the only all-women and Two-Spirit Sundance in the world.
